We’ve paid so much attention to the NFL for every reason but the games lately…what have we missed? Plenty. We’ve seen the mighty fall, i.e. the Patriots losing and looking completely mortal doing so…we’ve seen the glorious debut of the LA Chargers, and I’d say there were more fans at an XFL game than their opener…we’ve seen teams like the Broncos kick someone in the teeth one week, and get their teeth kicked in the following week. Something across the board that I’ve seen are some of the stupidest, dumbest, and most lackluster touchdown dances and celebrations EVER…I saw one last night that looked like Radar O’Reilly serving up the 4077th in the mess tent on an episode of MASH. There’s been some really boneheaded plays too, so here’s 3 new NFL rules for you: 1-Any touchdown celebration will be judged by a panel of Simon Cowell, Gordon Ramsay, and Sarah Huckabee Sanders…if they say it sucks, the points come off the board. 2-If you start celebrating your touchdown 20 yards before you get to the end zone and the other side knocks the ball out, head to the sidelines, pull off your jersey, and turn in your playbook because you are CUT from the team…and finally, 3-I don’t celebrate like I won the lottery when I do a basic element of my job, so when you tackle the running back after he gains 5 yards, do us all a favor…line back up and see if you can hold him to 4 the next time he’s coming at ya.
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